If I said that my life turned out anything like I thought it would, I would seriously be lying. Just typing this post makes my heart beat so fast that I want to cry. As I signed up for my Summer and Fall courses this morning, my last two semesters of this degree, I couldn’t and still can’t stop thinking about everything that has brought me to this point in life.
If there is a time the Lord has given me a glimpse of His sovereignty, this particular time would be it. As I look back on my testimony, the crazy move I made from Lynchburg to Chicago, the relationships I’ve had to say goodbye to and the ones I’ve welcomed, from the hardships of a whole year of my heart being broken over and over again-because the Lord knew I needed to heal from various relationships in my past-to financial insecurities, personal insecurities, and many MANY tears…I can’t help but be in AWE of God’s sovereignty. If I knew that it would all lead to who I am today and where the Lord is leading me, if I knew all of that then…but I didn’t. I didn’t know or necessarily trusted Him to lead me here, to lead me to today.
“God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything he knows” Tim Keller
But I now stand on this side, where I can look back and see His gentle hand guiding, loving, teaching, embracing, and correcting me. My heart is overwhelmed. I feel so small and yet so dearly loved.
As I look ahead, things feel shakey…again. My future looks cloudy. I don’t know where I’m going to be a year from now or what I’m going to be doing. But I can’t help but think at this very moment-who cares? Because God… OH MAN. GOD, is in control. GOD KNOWS what’s best for me. He hasn’t forgotten about me and He hasn’t stopped working on the things that pertain to me. He has gone before me and has laid down the path I’m to walk on, He is prepared to use my mistakes to lead me right into His heart…
If you’re going through anything remotely close to this, doubts about your future, or insecure about the uncertainties it holds, I want to remind you of this truth-
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Psalm 37:23
Polka Dot Button Down (Urban Outfitter Surplus store-$7)
Vintage High-waisted Jeans (Thrifted, true vintage-$4)
Blazer (J.Crew, with employee discount $40)