Single. Yep. That I am. But you best believe I’m much more than that. Whether I’m with someone or not doesn’t change the fact that I am whole(made that way in Christ). Being single (or in a relationship for that matter) has never been the status of my human existence nor has it ever been a condition in need of healing. I don’t need another book on singleness/contentment in the area of dating. I don’t need to hear, “you’ll find someone” or You’ll meet him when you least expect it.” All of these seem like solutions to a problem, and I don’t personally view being single as a problem.

Believe me, being single isn’t THE problem. I and most of my friends who are single want to be in a relationship, those dating want to be engaged, the engaged can’t wait to be married, those who are married long to have a child/buy a home… I’d like to challenge that your (and my) relationship status is the problem and say that the problem lies within our hearts, because we have a worship problem called idolatry.

Jimmy Needham sings-

Anything I put before my God is and idol

Anything I want with all my heart is an idol

Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol

Anything that I give all my love is an idol

What are those things for you, because I guarantee you that that’s where the real problem lies-not your relationship status.

So to all my well-meaning friends and family; I know that you care and that you love me and I don’t hold that against you, but the world already works full time in telling me that my identity is found in someone else, and that I need more than the Lord is offering me. I need your help during (starting) this holiday season and, quite frankly, I need you on MY side. So here are a few things that would be great to hear from you in contrast to the things I listed at the beginning of this post:

1. I see the Lord doing XYZ in your life and I’m excited to see where He takes you
2. The Lord has gifted you in XYZ areas and I want to encourage you and help you thrive in those areas!
3. I want you to know that I’m praying for you and for your future spouse (and actually pray for me! Lol).
4. Pray for my heart to keep from wondering and be guarded during the times when it IS hard to be single.
5. If you’re excited about my future and future spouse (cause I have those moments too) pray for me, and if you must share with me, please use discernment and help me guard my heart.
6. Ask me often-how’s your heart?