Single. Yep. That I am. But you best believe I’m much more than that. Whether I’m with someone or not doesn’t change the fact that I am whole(made that way in Christ). Being single (or in a relationship for that matter) has never been the status of my human existence nor has it ever been a condition in need of healing. I don’t need another book on singleness/contentment in the area of dating. I don’t need to hear, “you’ll find someone” or You’ll meet him when you least expect it.” All of these seem like solutions to a problem, and I don’t personally view being single as a problem.
Believe me, being single isn’t THE problem. I and most of my friends who are single want to be in a relationship, those dating want to be engaged, the engaged can’t wait to be married, those who are married long to have a child/buy a home… I’d like to challenge that your (and my) relationship status is the problem and say that the problem lies within our hearts, because we have a worship problem called idolatry.
Jimmy Needham sings-
Anything I put before my God is and idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol
Anything that I give all my love is an idol
What are those things for you, because I guarantee you that that’s where the real problem lies-not your relationship status.
So to all my well-meaning friends and family; I know that you care and that you love me and I don’t hold that against you, but the world already works full time in telling me that my identity is found in someone else, and that I need more than the Lord is offering me. I need your help during (starting) this holiday season and, quite frankly, I need you on MY side. So here are a few things that would be great to hear from you in contrast to the things I listed at the beginning of this post:
- I see the Lord doing XYZ in your life and I’m excited to see where He takes you
- The Lord has gifted you in XYZ areas and I want to encourage you and help you thrive in those areas!
- I want you to know that I’m praying for you and for your future spouse (and actually pray for me! Lol).
- Pray for my heart to keep from wondering and be guarded during the times when it IS hard to be single.
- If you’re excited about my future and future spouse (cause I have those moments too) pray for me, and if you must share with me, please use discernment and help me guard my heart.
- Ask me often-how’s your heart?
